Losing my dad suddenly, while all of my adult kids hate me at the same time.

Indescribable.

But if they didn’t love me then, they aren’t gonna love me now. No matter how much I’ve changed, evolved, healed, apologized, it will never be good enough for them. They are content with having nothing to do with me. With my Dad, with our family. And the hurt is unreal. Its as if my heart is torn.

I am well aware that it is not their job nor responsibility to comfort me thru this loss. What I can’t understand is the cold nature that they have chosen to extend. No love, no care, no concern, no contact.

I can only hope that one day, they realize just how much I loved them, and my Dad loved them. And that we deserved a little bit better. And I hope they are able to forgive themselves, the way they could never forgive me.